By: Alyssa Foster and Cassidy Martenson
Co-Editor and visiting writer
If you have learned anything from reading this column, it should be that Alyssa and Cassidy are extremely dramatic. Let’s be honest: this whole column is just a dramatization of our very average lives. Well, this week was no different, and you’re about to learn why.
First, Alyssa’s missing Apple watch had been giving Cassidy recurring nightmares and keeping her up at night. Alyssa, on the other hand, decided she was simply tired of the scandal and turned off the Apple watch location. This caused conflict in the apartment because without her hourly Apple watch questions, what would Cassidy have to look forward to? Turns out, Alyssa’s watch was at her parent’s house in La Porte the whole time, and she finally found it last week.
Cassidy probably should have been looking forward to her 21st birthday, but she had been avoiding the thought of getting older. Most people wake up after their 21st birthday feeling under the weather, but Cassidy woke up crying upon realizing that she was now an adult with obligations. How did she cope, you might ask? She did not. If you have any advice, you know where to find us.
On top of Cassidy’s mid-life crisis, Alyssa is having a crisis of her own as she balances school, work and a bowling tournament. Yes, a bowling tournament. Alyssa is a legend, if you were not aware, and she can out-bowl any of you anytime. That is a challenge. Once again, you know where to find us.
What do two crises lead to? Frantic phone calls. Cassidy has recently started spending her nights watching Criminal Minds in the hallway with her rabbit, Oatmeal. Well, Oatmeal escaped the other night at the exact same time Alyssa was supposed to come home. Cassidy then called Alyssa, worried that the door would open and Oatmeal would be gone forever. Well, Alyssa was simply at Cane’s with her boyfriend so Oatmeal did not escape and Cassidy managed to ruin their date night. Once again, dramatic.