By Dear Titan,
I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about two years. Recently, I’ve found that our relationship is extremely dull, no matter what we do. I feel awful, but I’m just not feeling how I used to feel about him anymore.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Being in a dull relationship can be rather miserable. However, every relationship becomes less exciting over time. When we first start dating, we only engage in fun activities like going to a nice restaurant, seeing the newest release at the box office, or even just enjoying one another’s company over a long walk. This is one of the many reasons we fall in love so quickly, so we eagerly take on commitment and a serious relationship.
It’s no surprise that every moment of every relationship isn’t all sunshine and roses. We all lead very busy, complicated lives as students, and after the initial attraction and commitment is established, we tend to place less importance on all the fun activities. Our relationships go from exciting and new to just another part of our daily routine. Although this is understandable, we can’t let this mentality get in the way of spicing things up and letting love get lost.
So my question to you is are you not feeling how you used to feel about your relationship or your boyfriend anymore?
Sometimes as we get to know people better we realize that maybe they aren’t really the person you fell for, or maybe you aren’t as compatible as you initially thought. If you feel that your relationship isn’t as sharp as it once was then maybe the two of you can work things out.
It’s not uncommon for you to be contemplating these ideas, so don’t feel awful about it. Keep in mind relationships are a partnership. He could be feeling the same way, but unsure how to break it to you.
After two years, these questions become more important and harder to ignore. You’ve given it enough time to get to know one another well, and a great deal of feelings and emotions have been invested into the relationship by this time. My best advice would be to plan some exciting or carefree activities to allow you to get back to the fun fresh start. If this fails, or he seems uninterested, then maybe it’s time to move on before you invest more time and energy into a one-sided relationship.
Best of luck,
Titan
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